The Expatriate Diet

Picture this—— a beefy Norte Americano is arriving in Lima,Peru, from California. He waddles off the plane.  Weighing in at a hefty 250 pounds, pants stretched to the breaking point, needing a longer belt, he is by all measures obese. He doesn’t know it yet, but his cholesterol and other blood indicators show him moving into the danger zone for heart disease and diabetes. The sad part is that he actually thinks that he is healthy.

Well, folks, that was me fifteen years ago.  

Now fast forward to the present.

Hitting the scales at 190, sixty pounds lighter, a picture of health, all the nasty indicators below normal, is the same, not beefy, but pretty lean,  Norte Americano. TA!,TA!

It’s Magic! Right?

Well, there are secret, proven ways to lose excess weight that only I know. And you, loyal readers are the only ones with whom I will share these secrets.

Are you ready?

The most important secret to success is to move to another country. I have done it twice—long ago I lived in Bolivia for two years and lost forty pounds. Now in Peru, I have a grand total of sixty fewer pounds and still dropping.

Why move to another country? Because that gives you a chance to totally change your life-style. You don’t have to do what you used to do, and you don’t have to do what the natives do because you are foreign and different.

When I look back on my days in California, I can see that I was a chip chomping, burger munching, candy snacking, exercise avoiding, working stressed, car driving, no walking, typical citizen of the U.S. And if I had stayed there, I would probably be doing the same, just as many of my fellow Americans are doing. That life-style, dear readers, is actually the road to a shorter and nastier life.

Fortunately, I was saved from all that by moving to Peru. I hope I don’t need to say that I lost all that weight because the food is terrible here. Quite the contrary. I eat like a king both at home and at the wonderful restaurants we have in Lima.

The answer lies elsewhere. Now the words you can use to describe me are a vegetable loving, walking everywhere, snack avoiding, exercising fanatic. And I am so happy with the changes I’ve made. It has been gradual and essentially painless. Basically I eased into my new life-style, and now the benefits have become apparent to everyone.

At this point, I have to reveal my other secret to losing weight:

Marry a dietitian.

Not just an ordinary dietitian, but one totally dedicated to living just what she preaches. One who cooks so well that I am eating and enjoying green and yellow plants in all sorts of tantalizing forms that I never, ever, in my life, expected to do.

So, my friends, one day when I publish my book, The Expat Diet, and it becomes the hottest fad diet in history, you can stick your noses up at your friends and say,

“I knew about it first.”

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