A married couple living in California is having an important conversation. Let’s eavesdrop.

“Dear, do you love me? Do you want me to be happy?”

“Of course, my darling, I want you to be happy, you are the love of my life.”

“Mi amor, this is important. You remember that I am from Peru and that all my family still live there.

“How could I forget it? You often want to go visit them and spend a lot of our money doing so. ”

They are getting into dangerous territory, but she pushes ahead.

“Dearest, I don’t mind living in California, but I miss my home and my family, especially my mother. She really needs me now that she is getting older. Soon we must begin taking care of her. Either she comes here to live with us or we go to live in Peru.

He grimaces on hearing this.

“Speaking of your mother, why doesn’t your sister take care of her? Why does it always have to be us?”

She ignores that comment and continues.

“Besides, life is so superficial here. Americans don’t even know what real friendship is. Actually my only friends here are Peruvians. “

“Well, if you learned English better, you might have more American friends. The classes are free, but you can’t be bothered. All you want to do is be with your Peruvian friends and gossip. Then you spend the rest of your time watching soap operas in Spanish. What do you expect? “

She tries to change the subject again.

You know that I want us to go live in Peru when we retire.”

She notices that he is beginning to turn red, a danger sign.

“I like going to Peru for a week, but to live there? No way, Jose.
He gets up and starts pacing around.
You know that I don’t speak Spanish very well, and when we go for a visit all you want to do is to sit around and jabber jabber with your friends and family. Meanwhile, I just sit there like a bump on a log. What would I do all day? ”

“It would be very boring for me. Besides, I would miss all my friends”

She sneers, “Your friends are a bunch of drunks. They don’t care anything about you.”

“Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean that they are not my friends. They are great guys! We have terrific times together, and we have tons of things in common like motorcycles and guns. So what if we like to have a couple of beers once in a while.”

Then he turns pale.

Christ, if I go to live in Peru, I won’t even have the chance to see the Forty-niners play.
An important realization hits him.
My God, I’d lose my season tickets!

She sees that things are not going her way so she resorts to her most powerful weapon—tears.

She, starting to cry, “Oh, what shall we do?”

He sadly shakes his head thinking of their dilemma
Then, suddenly he has a flash of inspiration, a great solution to their problem occurs to him. He says excitedly, “Holy Shit! I have a great idea. Truly a miracle!”

Such an event is rare. She is listening intently.

“Why don’t you go live in Peru, and I will stay in California!”

“Oh,” hugging him tightly, “What a wonderful idea. You are my hero!”

The happy couple exit holding hands.